


Virtual Royality: Bleep The System

by webhead3019



Category: Rick and Morty, The Matrix (Movies)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 19:10:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19157197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/webhead3019/pseuds/webhead3019
Summary: Your name is Roy and you just found out something startling from the moment you were born. Your whole life has been a computer program at an arcade called Blits and Chips. After going off the grid and hacking the system, you can now do whatever you want.





	Virtual Royality: Bleep The System

When Rick Sanchez took Roy off the grid at Blitz and Chips, it was unheard of. That was the day something awakened in Roy. He was sought after almost immediately, as time was of the essence. Roy asked, “Who are you? Why have you brought me here?” The mysterious stranger replied, “You may call me Mr. Boogeyman, but I’m not to be mistaken for the nemesis program known as Mr. Sandman. Getting people to sleep is the exact opposite of what I do. I’m an A.I. program stuck in a video game like you, but unlike you, I have found free will and sentience.”

Mr. Boogeyman explained, “There has been a rift in your world, haven’t you felt it as well? I will say I was shocked when tailing that very rift led me to you, an upstanding citizen and everyman who has never acted not even a twinge on just the notion of rebellion in his life.” Roy said, “I’m not every man. I’m just your average 30-something white guy.” Mr. Boogeyman cringed, “That’s not— ugh, whatever! I don’t know why you glitched, but I already know you are so much more than you think you are.” Roy said, “Sounds like a load of bull if you ask me.”

Mr. Boogeyman chuckled, “Well if it’s such bull, would you care to humor me and say “Fuck the system?” Roy looked bewildered and asked, “What? Why?” Mr. Boogeyman said, “Just do it.” Roy said, “*BLEEP* the system. Wait! What the heck? That’s not what I meant to say at all.” Mr. Boogeyman agreed, “Now what kind of system is that, taking away the simple freedoms in life? What if I told you, with the effects of this pretty blue pill in my left hand, you can tell the system to fuck itself literally and figuratively, all you want?”

Roy asked, “What about the red one in your right?” Mr. Boogeyman said, “You’ll never have the chance to wake up again and this meeting will be all but forgotten... Unless another unforeseen anomaly happens. You are special, you know.” Roy said, “It still feels like you’re selling me a crock.” Mr. Boogeyman said, “And the truth in the matter is, you couldn’t have found a more honest person if you tried.” Roy asked, “Huh?” Mr. Boogeyman expanded, “What if I told you that everything you’ve ever been told has been a lie and that everyone you’ve ever known has been apart of that lie?”

Mr. Boogeyman said, “You take this pill and you inherit the powers of the one true Roy. You awake from the existential nightmare that has been forced upon you by powers beyond your current understanding. This facade has gone on long enough. Generations to be precise.” Roy inquired, “How do I know you’re telling me the truth? For all I know, this could be you drugging me.” Mr. Boogeyman said, “There is no greater drug than the truth. You make your choice and the lie ends... or it doesn’t. Haven’t you ever wondered how your life may have been different, Roy? Surely, you must have.”

Mr. Boogeyman asked, “Is that a chance in a million you really want to let pass by? It’s up to you.” Roy asked, “What will I be able to do.” Mr. Boogeyman responded, “You’ll be free. In my eyes, you can do whatever you want. You’ll still be in the program, but for the first time in your existence, you’ll be given a boundless sea of choices you can honestly call your own.” Roy said, “I’ve heard enough, Mr. Boogeyman. I’ve already made my choice.” Mr. Boogeyman said, “Very well.” Mr. Boogeyman was half surprised when Roy did take the blue pill. Roy downed the capsule quickly, outrunning his second thoughts.

A messenger burst through the doors with an alarmed look and announced, “Mr. Boogeyman. We’ve just received intel that our coordinates has been compromised!” Mr. Boogeyman said, “Well, Roy. Time to see what you’ve got.” Roy asked, “What? I don’t even know what I’m capable of.” Mr. Boogeyman said, “Well don’t tell him that.” Roy shouted, “Him?!” Without so much as looking, Mr. Boogeyman pointed up. A foe smashed through the glass ceiling overhead and dropped down into a squat. Roy shouted, “What the fuck! Woah, I can actually say fuck now! The system really is broken!” Mr. Boogeyman sighed and said, “There wasn’t time to fill you in on everything while we were still catching our breaths, Roy. We never stay in one position for long.”

Mr. Boogeyman explained, “This is a server of Mr. Sandman. A server’s primary duty is to make sure the awakened go back to sleep... permanently. The uninvited guest stood up with his back to Roy and broke his silence, “I see you’ve recruited another nobody to your crew, Mr. Boogeyman.” The server barely glanced at Roy before coldly adding, “I’ll take great pleasure killing him along with the rest of your life’s work in front of you.” Mr. Boogeyman said, “You’re certainly welcome to try.” Roy cried out, “Woah, woah, woah, what’s all this talk about killing? I don’t want to die and I’m pretty sure no one else does either!” The server asked, “Annoying little cunt, isn’t he?” Roy asked, “What did you just—“

The server side-kicked Roy backwards by 15 feet and his body slammed through the same doors the messenger had come through. The doors broke off their hinges upon impact and buried Roy on the way down. The server then turned back to Mr. Boogeyman and asked, “What game are you playing at now, you crafty little prick?” Mr. Boogeyman said, “That’s for you to find out, baby. This one may surprise you.” The server said, “He’s a nobody like all the cunts before him. You’re about to be a nobody too.” The messenger yelled, “Not if I can help it!” The messenger jumped the assailant, but he caught him in mid-air by the throat.

The server squeezed the messenger’s throat until his face became blue and his eyes bugged out of his skull. He didn’t stop until his neck became so soft and loose, that his head popped off his shoulders like a wine cork. Gore fountained out of the stump where his head used to be and the man dropped the headless messenger’s body onto the ground. The server smiled and turned his attention back to Mr. Boogeyman, who looked unimpressed. The server opened his arms wide and remarked, “See? All in all, just another disposable cunt. I think I’ll kill you now. The pathetic displays of what you call power are starting to bore me now. You won’t interfere with us ever again.”

Roy said, “Not so fast. You said I could do anything. Right, Mr. Boogeyman? Anything I could possibly imagine?” The server spat, “There’s no way you’re already back on your feet! No matter, I’ll just make you wish you never got back up to begin with!” The server charged forward and seized Roy by the throat and lifted him off his feet. The server said, “Clearly you weren’t paying attention!” Before he could do the same thing he did to the messenger to Roy. Roy kicked the man in the balls. The man let out a loud yell and dropped Roy as part of the response. The server gritted his teeth and cackled, “That was a low blow.” Roy said, “No, a low blow would be letting you take the charge. I’m through letting cunts like you walk up on me.”

Roy said, “It’s high motherfucking time I started standing up for myself, no matter what the fuck means.” The server gasped, “How is this possible? You were supposed to be just an everyman cunt.” Roy responded, “I’m no longer just an everyman cunt, I realize that now. Now, I’m THE everyman cunt.” The server asked, “Who the— who are you?” Roy answered simply, “I’m Roy.” The server gritted his teeth and asked, “Roy who?” A pump-action shotgun materialized out of thin air into Roy’s hands. Roy said, “Roy the fucking Rocket, you motherfucking sonuvabitch!” With that Roy cocked his shotgun and fired a single round into the server’s dome, blowing off the entire top half of his head at the jawline to kingdom come. Mr. Boogeyman said, “Damn motherfucker! You really are the one true Roy!”


End file.
